On this the most holy of days I feel the need to put my thoughts into ones and zeros so you can read them, mainly because I can thanks to science.

Rather than ramble for ages like last year (see here) I thought I'd make a few logical points.

• If something dies, it's dead. If it can come back to life it wasn't dead.
• Crucifixion takes longer than around 6 hours to kill. Maybe he wasn't dead, maybe it's just a story designed to frighten people.
• There have been no miracles since we had the technology to measure if something is a miracle or not.
• The virgin birth and resurrection stories are old myths told by many groups over thousands of years with different names. Same crap, different epoch.
• Lots of shops are shut tomorrow and I have a day off. In a word... Bollocks.

Entertaining this nonsense is an insult to your intelligence. Telling it to children is immoral. Wait until they are adults so they can laugh when you try to persuade them.

This is 2016. Grow up. If what I've said offends you then forgive me.

I'm off to eat chocolate, as is tradition. :)